i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Randomize
