I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
Randomize
