Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize
