he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
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