He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
Randomize
