So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
Randomize
