She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
Screwed.edu
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
