you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
