Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
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