My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Randomize
