She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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