By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
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