Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Randomize
