I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Randomize
