You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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