all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
Randomize