She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize