if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Randomize
