Don't you send me to vm
I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
Randomize
