I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
Randomize