I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
