Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
Randomize
