Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
Randomize
