So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
