I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
i need to put some appletini on your dick
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
