Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
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