I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
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