entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
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