my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
Randomize
