Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
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