Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Randomize
