Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
Randomize
