I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
