i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
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