this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
