she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
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