BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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