Dude! wtf happend last nite? I woke up with 2 black eyes and a head ache
You stepped off the curb and face planted the road...twice
Why didnt you hold me up....and why a second time?
I helped you up but figured it was wayy funnier to watch you fall again then lose my buzz....
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
it's like iHOP with fire
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
