Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
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