So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
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