the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Randomize
