It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize