is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
