My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
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