PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
Randomize
