your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Randomize
