addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
Randomize
