so let's talk penis.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Randomize
