your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
Randomize