I'm laying in your front yard are you home
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
The cops high fived after they tackled you
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Randomize
