oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
Randomize
