so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
Randomize
