you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Randomize
