saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Randomize
