i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Randomize