i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
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