That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
