how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Randomize
