the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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