my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
