so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
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