I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
Randomize
