I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
