Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
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