Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
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