i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Randomize
