I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
Randomize
